amblypygid ([info]amblypygid) wrote,
@ 2008-06-03 14:01:00
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Overthinking
[info]kalikanzera Just posted something mentioning overthinking, and, well, it made me think.

I've never understood what "overthinking" is. I've been accused of doing it, though. "Just say what comes into your mind," people tell me. Or "Just do what you feel." Neither of these is very helpful to me. In Myers-Briggs terms, I'm a really strong thinker. Feelings often come only after I think about something and figure out how I feel about it. I know this can be hugely confusing to feelers who tend to have feelings first and then think about them. There isn't anything that "just comes into my mind." I don't feel like I'm a pot overflowing with stuff that I have dammed up all the time. It's not a matter of just removing the dam and letting things spill out. Things have to be picked up and looked at and analyzed before they come out in any way. There's not much to come out unless I think about it.

So back to overthinking. Does overthinking mean thinking instead of feeling? That doesn't seem right to me; thinking and feeling are both good and important, and I don't know why feeling would necessarily be better than thinking. Does overthinking mean analyzing things? I can't figure out what's wrong with analysis; I like it and it helps me understand myself and others and the world. Does overthinking mean obsessing about something to a degree that makes you unhappy with your life and unable to make decisions? I can see why that would be a bad thing. But why is that overthinking? Isn't that obsessing? Is there a difference?

I have the feeling that the people who accuse me of overthinking will look at this post and say, see, you're overthinking now! Because, after all, I'm trying to figure something out that seems obvious to a lot of people. But it's not obvious to me, and how else can I figure it out?

Edit: [info]resolute tells me overthinking is a term used mainly by Myers Briggs feelers.



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[info]sionnain
2008-06-03 07:49 pm UTC (link)
My husband tells me I overthink all the time, and he's an INTJ. ;-)

I, however, am a self-avowed "feeler" (which makes me sound like an alien. O.o) and definitely someone who feels emotions very intensely. If something bothers me, I will feel it pretty quickly. I'm pretty self-aware and have always been fine with that aspect of my personality, so I am pretty quick to figure out what I'm feeling and then analyze why I'm feeling that way. The concept of thinking first and then feeling is not foreign to me, though; I can think about something and change the way I'm feeling about it, but I just naturally experience things first emotionally and then process them. For the most part, that is. There are always exceptions, as with most things.

Overthinking, to me, means assigning motivations to the actions of others, or coming up with scenarios that might happen if you do this or that, or saying, "But if I go to this party and so-and-so is there, we'll talk, and then later, she'll go to so-and-so and tell them this-or-that, and then this will happen..." It means coming up with six million things that could possibly happen, or figuring out what hidden motivation or meaning is beneath a simple, "Hey, what's up?", or things like that.

Sometimes, you just have to stop doing that or you'll worry yourself to death. :)

I would not think you were an overthinker, not really. It seems like you're very process-oriented, but to me, overthinkers tend to be more "Feeler" types. Honestly, they mostly seem to be women, but that could be that most women score an "F" on that section of the Meyers-Briggs. Which of course, is not a precise science :)

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